4 top tips for effective goal setting in 2023

Apologies for the typos, this is an AI transcription

Alright, what's going on in the business?

So like Monday it was all like me, uh, visiting studios premises, trying to get like, you know, understand why business rates are so much more expensive. outside London, then inside of London, like all this kind of stuff. And then like Tuesday I had to go to Birmingham. I was filming this thing with BBC News about, uh, budget meal planning charities that are gonna be overstretched at Christmas.

That should have provided a lot more context for me. And I really took that on board. But then like, then you get dragged into that, your other part of your mind, which was like comparison mode. So on Wednesday I was chatting to a friend of mine. He's got a, a company in a similar space. They've just raised like 25 million, something like that.

And like immediately you go into comparison mode, you're like, oh my God. Like they're so much further ahead than me. Like, why can't I raise that much money? Why can't I have that many employees? And then like Thursday, Friday was just like, Battling fires all day long. And so at the end of the week, I was just like, completely not, I wouldn't say burnt out.

I think I, I used that word a little bit too, sort of loosely. And I, it was just a tough week. It was just a long week and, you know, I was working on Saturday and Sunday night as well. And so the, the business for, for me is just like a constant sort of spinning plates. I, I don't think I've spoken about on the podcast recently.

Um, I lost my first employee. Uh, dude, it was like a breakup. . It was like a breakup. I felt like rejected. I felt like, what, what, what's wrong with me here? I can change . Was it, is it me? I, I could, I could do better. , I give her the context. She, she was a really good employee. Um, super on it. Like great can-do attitude.

But she, she got like a really good opportunity and it was like just an easy sort of yes for her and an easy yes for me. If I care about one of the core values for my business, which is I want to give value to my employees as much as they give value to the business. It's a, a, a mutually beneficial relationship, and I think in this, You know, if you really do give a shit about your employees, you allow them to flourish and you can support them in as much as they support you.

So yeah, it was bittersweet cuz I was happy for her, but also like, oh man, I've gotta go, I've gotta find someone. I've gotta interview like another 40 people. Like I literally interviewed personally, like 40 plus people just to. To her and then like, you know, I've gotta go through the hypothesis again. I've gotta take on that work because like, you know, we've got a very flat sort of organizational structure with, with no managerial positions right now.

So everything kind of, the bottleneck goes to me. And I think it's sort of compounded in the week that I had last week. But I was gonna ask you, like, obviously you've hired like a whole bunch of people and when you lose big hitters, as I'm sure you have a, what are the emotions? Like, is it like a rejection the first time it happens and b.

How do you just get, like, just get people up and running, especially in this environment where you, it's very hard to find the right talent.

You know, are you giving them opportunity to grow? Cause what what always happens, always, always, always happens in businesses is that, you know, there's three buckets of people. There's the low performers, um, who mm-hmm. manages, spend so much time with. the majority of the time. Then you've got the medium performers and yeah, they keep an eye on those guys.

And then you have the great performers where they're like, oh, don't worry, they're doing so good. They'll, they'll never leave. They're so happy cuz we're doing well. But, so, you know, it's, it's, it's the high performers of medium performers that get forgotten about. And the question is like, you know, how much love and how much growth are they getting?

Because we spend so much time on the low performers. So I'll say, you know, I, I'm quite, I like to use these times to self-reflect. Obviously there's this emotion piece, which you'll come to. But you know, I use this as a, okay, what can I learn from it? Mm-hmm. Um, I know it's just quite a cheesy thing, but I always say when someone leaves, okay, what can I learn from it?

Because for me, that's what pumps me up rather than going through the grieving, I just go, okay, what can I learn from it straight away? Because that, that gets me in a positive state. And then I then start thinking, okay, yeah, okay, wow, this person's leaving now. And I start coming to a realization that this is happen.

And I start just thinking, okay, um, I'm sad about it, so I have to go for the emotion. So I always try to, one thing I've learned is that, you know, feel the feelings and express it. So, you know, tell 'em you're sad. I always do. I'm like, I'm really, really sad. Like, I'm really upset this is happening. One thing I've also learned is that if someone wants to leave, I genuinely don't try to keep.

Because if they've, they've fully checked out like me convincing them to stay, it doesn't usually work that well. They normally stay, but it's like, you know, you can get some, a portion of those people to stay, but it's usually on the back of their mind. They're gonna be thinking, Hey, I should have gone.

It's a bit like a relationship. If someone says, Hey, I wanna leave. It's just like a relationship to stay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's exactly like that. So in a weird way, I've had probably like a hundred breakups, so yeah, I'm ready, I'm ready. If breaks me up, I'm pretty strong. Um, like feel the feelings.

The first one's really, really hard and. You know, then naturally your mindset will be like minor. You get strongly like, okay. , it's happened, I've accepted it. But before I go through the emotions, what can I learn? Because that motivates me. Cause then I've got my lessons and then I go into feel, you know, reduce my, I go through the grieving processes.

It's exactly like a grieving process, right? You're sad, you're upset, you then accept it and then you're like, okay, let's make this better. Yeah. That summarizes

And I definitely learnt that the type of person I want working in that role has to have certain values and certain aspirations. It doesn't necessarily mean that aspirations are a, a, a bad thing, but it just means, you know, I just need to know the direction of travel. And I think that question just.

Coming back to the hard week. I had last week. You know, what can I learn from it? I actually sat myself down, was like, okay, what can I learn from this week? And it basically just, you know, it's a lack of process. It's, uh, a lack of like saying no to certain things and prioritizing. And one thing that I have been doing, dude, that is an absolute game changer, is what you do, where you don't have any meetings prior to 12.

And I've been telling that for ages. Yeah, I know you have and I haven't been doing that. I'll be like, I can't, I can't fit it in. I can't fit it. I've been very rigid with myself, uh, and it's, it's sick. It is game changing. It like my, my cognitive energy is focused on things that require the energy in the morning and I'm not being broken or attention switching by having meetings before 12.

Mm-hmm. . Um, yeah, my, my assistant's been pretty, pretty good with that as well. So,

Yeah, and also like the thing you said about like you. Not shying away from the sort of sadness or the, or the grief or whatever, like as funny it is to to, to frame it in those words. It's an opportunity to practice doism cuz I think a lot of people think about stoicism as being emotionless and it's not, it's not at all.

It's the appreciation that emotions are gonna happen regardless. You know, negative, positive emotions are absolutely inevitable. It's biologically hardwired. And we're not meant to like barrier. And I think that's like a common misconception. Instead, stoicism, and the practice of stoicism is about enduring that pain, that in ensuring that pain and grief isn't made worse by thinking about or overthinking about it, and that, you know, is, is exactly the reverse. Like, you know, joy and pleasure is made more by like, again, focusing and obsessing on that. So I, I think like appreciating like, yeah, it's a shit thing that happens. It's gonna happen. What can we learn from it? It's, it's great.

Yeah. Like allow you some time to like, you know, be, be sad about it and then it's time to go on and like, let's focus on other things so that, that is like, you know, an opportunity to, uh, to practice those. There's, there's my little tangent.

If you're an entrepreneur or you know, if you've got a role, which is, let's just say, um, you're getting stretched and pulled, you need support and help, right? So I think a lot of people in my friend circle will probably look at me as the guy that can hopefully fix some of their problems. So I get so many messages on a Monday and I feel bad because I wanna try to help 'em, but I'm noticing right now as the max has ever been because it's such a tough time. Like the recession's here, people have not hit their goals. They're a bit upset, they're a bit sad. Their teams are obviously not made their bonuses or their goals, they're worried about their jobs. So all of that pressure is getting to folks and there'll be some that will float through and there'll be some that come out strong, but, and those are the three camps.

We'll see what happens. But you're probably seeing it from your friend circle. Are you feeling it as well?

And um, I was actually listening to the All In podcast today with, um, David Sack. They call him like of SaaS. I love them. I love those guys. They're, they are such joke. I mean, it is interesting to listen to sometimes because they're just like a bunch of billionaires, like playing billionaire games. But then they also do like a whole bunch of.

Random tangents and they take the piss out of each other quite a lot. And Jason Calis, like he is a smart guy. When you hear him on his own podcast or other people's podcasts, but in that environment, they really pick on him and they make him sound like such a dumbass, but he's not. He's a really smart guy.

But I don't know, I think he needs to stand up for himself a little bit more. Maybe it's because he's like, Down the pecking order in terms of like monetary wealth. Yeah.

But in reality, you know, he's a smart, savvy investor who is very clued up in the market.

Do you know what I mean? It's not like a, you always comparing, it's like top trumps like, you know, I, I don't feel like I'm always playing a game of top tramps and, and that I've had to be out of myself, to be honest, cuz I. We all have it sort of ingrained into us, particularly coming from Asian culture, I don't know, uh, like a Indian culture and I'm not too sure if you agree with this, but it's always like, what's your neighbor doing?

Or what's the other person in your community doing, you know, as a benchmark for how you should be doing or how you feel you should be doing. So sometimes I feel that sort of like ingrained in me and I've had to sort of like move past

I dunno if it's the right time to drop it, but like, everyone's like a pizza. Right, and everyone's got their own ingredients. Like, you know, you might have pepperoni, peppers, cheese, ham, whatever it is, but like everyone's got their own ingredients and what, what, what? You know, one thing with pizzas, they all taste good, like, All pizza are unique and different.

There's different levels of, you know, toppings, but you know, each one is great and taste good in its own way, but we're not gonna be the same. Right? And you know, some person may have more mushrooms, more cheese, more unique things. And I feel as long as you are aware of your ingredients and you make the best pizza possible with your ingredients, that's all you can do, right?

And you. compared to others. And you know, the analogy goes further because like everyone wants to be like a pepperoni and jino pizza or like, you know, a veggie supreme and like everyone's got their own. But you know, I think it's better to just be your own unique pizza and um, they're all cool, like all pizzas are nice.

Alright, have you got any other threads?

Save money. Save money. We're gonna save money. Same here. Like, you know, we're always looking at ways to save because we want to invest in, you know, our own house one day and all the rest of it. Anyway, I've actually been leaning into a lot of, uh, Alex Homo. , he was like an early gym bro who started like doing these gyms and, and, and, you know, uh, creating like physical gyms.

And then he. Leaned into the, into the sort of consultancy space, basically scaled up his, his consultancy, and he's, he's very good at teaching you how to maximize the value that you give to clients without necessarily having to dig into your pocket and like, spend, spend, spend. And actually something called feature fallacy, which is actually quite common within apps is, oh, if I just create this new, shiny new feature that's gonna.

Rocket, it's gonna be like rocket fuel for my subscriptions. And actually, you don't wanna think about that. You wanna think about how you can demonstrate most value to your consumer very early on, and the question you wanna ask yourself percent. . Yeah. The question you wanna ask yourself in this environment is, how can I give 10 x value for a 10th of the price that I'm actually paying for right now?

And so this is a really good sort of, uh, thought exercise framework. Yeah. Framework for when, you know, you don't actually have like, uh, a huge cash injection. Right. Huge amount of investment to play around with and like, do all these tests. It's like, okay, how can we be as. Scrappy, uh, to give as much value to our customers.

So I've been diving in, I've been doing a lot more customer service. Uh, we're, we're gonna be doing a lot, a lot more like user interviews. We're gonna find out like what people love about the doctor's kitchen app, what people hate about it, how we can offer more value by offering things off the app as well.

So not necessarily building new features, which will cost tens of thousands of pounds. Maybe it's. Okay, we'll just get on Zoom like once a week and then like you do like a live cooking session with Dr. Rui and we just do it via, you know, a tool that costs me less than a hundred pounds a month. You know, just, just to add that extra value.

Yeah. And like, see what works, see what doesn't work, and see how we can allocate capital more efficiently. So that, that's something that I've just been really leaning into and I think for any business owners, it is a really good question to ask yourself how you can 10 x your value to your customer without necessarily spending 10 x more and actually spending less.

And figuring out the feature that works, that's been bringing in most of the money and just make that feature 10 x better. And like, I don't know, A good example is maybe on calm right, on that app. I, I, I knew from, you know, the inside, um, Like friends who were there that the sleeping meditations were going really well.

And yes, they could have done more meditations in other areas, but they just thought script were gonna double down. And they started investing in a lot of celebrities. Right. So hence you had Harry styles. He had a few other celebs starting to do the sleeping side. So yeah, they just doubled down in an area which they knew was being used and they could get even more interest, more subscribers, and more people sharing.

So, you know, I feel you've gotta figure out there, what is that area, which is in your. , you know, if we're talking about you like, which is the bit that people are excited about that if. . You know, if you magnified it 10 x it would give you 10 x to value. I feel that's where you got solve. But trust me, it's really, really, really hard.

So people just don't wanna answer the question cuz they're like, I'm scared. It's like you're betting all your chips in into one area. Yeah, but unfortunately, like, you know, we like, and we talked about it before, like in for founders and even people top of the corporate ladder, like the reason why they.

The most successful ones is they do pour the chips in, in something, they go all in. We are, we are investing a

We're doubling down on like recipe creation. We're, we're like putting much more effort into the, of the styling and stuff, uh, rather than like building out like, uh, you know, a meal planner that maybe only 10% of our subscribers will actually utilize. We're just gonna go ham on the actual, uh, content side of things.

And then also the studio that I've been banging on about for a little while, that's gonna provide us the ability to do a lot more high quality. Uh, video content. I'm

So I've been doing goal setting for, for like 15 years. It's mental, but I've, since, ever since I went to Tony Robbins, this was what he taught me, right? And see, I've, I think Tony Robbins is great. I don't, you know, at that time it was exactly what I needed and he. . He supported me a lot and I think we talked about it.

We both got inspired by him in our early twenties. We both discovered him in our own weird way. So, yeah. So here's, here's a few of my tips. I've wrote a few notes down cause I thought, I want to try to make sure we get some good action takeaway from it. Okay. This is not one, but I just think the most important thing is to start early.

I hate it. Like I hit it when you're like, you know, January 1st and you're trying to do your goals. Like these goals were goals you wanna do for your life. So you should have started 'em already. So, you know, just start 'em now. Like there's no real reason why you gotta start in Jan, like with everyone else on the starting line when you start a few weeks early.

I think this is the first one start with, right? Is that I find a lot of people setting goals right now are goals that deeply they don't want. It's more about impressing. . Um, and it's a, I've noticed it's a very common thing. So even with me, I'm not gonna lie to you. Like at the start of this year, I choose the start of last year I said I was gonna do a podcast, right?

And I didn't do it. And I think we talked about it because I felt like deeply, I, I dunno, something in me I thought is more for my ego rather than me wanting to share. But I love communicating, right? So then I came to the realization, okay, I love communicating and this is an easy way for me to share what I've learned, um, to folks.

And I wanted to give back in some form or way of past my learning. So I thought this was, this was the best format for me. Um, so then I came to the realization, actually this was, this goal is for me, not for

For yourself. Right. And that the, the two I think are exclusive. I, I think, you know, when you set, when I set myself goals, like, oh, I wanna a, a company that is generating a hundred million revenue every single year. , you know, I have to ask myself the question, is that because I truly think that's gonna make me happy or other people happy?

Or do I want to put that on my, on my, sort of like credentials one day on my, like Twitter bio or like, you know, am I doing this to flex? And I think you ha, you have to be very honest with yourself and I have to be very honest with myself about that as well. And on the subject of goals in general, um, most people like, you know, like you said, set them January 1st, probably a bit hungover.

Not really put that much thought into it. So starting early is very, very important. And also revisiting them every month. So I, I pretty much look at my goals, uh, every week because it's on my notes and I just review them and I'll change them in, in time as well, you know, so

Whichever way you look at. I love that. So that's number one. You talked about number four of mine, so, but we'll as well go for that one. But yeah, sticking with the goal, so, yeah. I read it every week. I go one step further, and I think I mentioned it on another episode, is that I will, I'll write out what that goal is, and I will also feel the emotion of how I'm gonna feel once I get that goal.

So I'm, I'm essentially visualizing, like, manifesting that goal and I know exactly what it's gonna feel like once I have it. So in my mind, I've already got it. And what that does, it suddenly creates this frequency within me to attract that. Um, and I've, yeah, that one's been really powerful. That's been like an upgrade to my, um, framework, my system.

So we've got singing stillness that will like to repeat. We've got singing Stillness to, to confirm you're doing these goals for yourself. We've got sticking with the goal to doing it every week and having a method to go back. The third one I wanted to talk about is like clarity on the goals. Because what I've learned, and this ties back to um, well, I've just mentioned, but you've gotta be super, super, super clear with what you want.

Mm-hmm. , um, otherwise it's just doesn't happen. So like a prime example is, you know, selling someone wanting to set a business right. , let's just use that simple example. And we can use another one after. But someone wants to set their own business and they wants to grow their business. If you're not clear about, yeah, how much you wanna grip buy, and how does it look, what does this business look like?

You know, the the team you wanna have, like, if you're not absolutely clear about how that outcome's gonna look, you're not gonna achieve it because there's no clarity. So when that. Opportunity comes in front of you or that situation, like you're just confused. Another good example is in a relationship, right?

So clarity on goals is critical and you order to have good clarity on goals you need to have, find someone who's had that goal so they can get you in that right mindset. They can challenge you and go, Hey look, this is what it's gonna look like and spar with you, because then you can work out what that gap is and you know, that will help you achieve the goal.

So yeah. What's your thoughts on the

So I say to myself, practice visualizing your team members. The studio, the test kitchen, the hq, the team dog, the team, coffee machine. The feeling, the smell, the location, the vibe, the ethos, the excitement. Oh, the company bank account. The, the, um, uh, the, the flow of, uh, revenue into the company. How that adds value to your employees, the house you come back to, the stress free track, like I, I literally go through, , pinpoint all those different things, and I try and play that movie in the back of my mind and that thi this is my current one right now because I'm looking towards, you know, the studio and, and, and, and growing the team.

A really good exercise to get yourself into this sort of creative state is to imagine, let's say you are running a business right? Imagine, uh, someone from, I don't know, uh, TechCrunch or Wide Magazine or Financial Times Magazine comes to your office and writes an article about your company. So you are writing it from the perspective of the journalist, and you're literally like, I turn up a X, Y, Z, and like, this is what the vibe was and this is.

The person that greeted me. And like, so you're, you're telling the story through a journalist who is basically in your world, in your future world. Cause this

The source. We'll, we'll get her on the pod. She's amazing. She, uh, her book re really did inspire me to do a lot of this kind of work. Like just thinking about. You know, ways in which you can crystallize that vision. Cause I, I, I'll be honest, like for me it was kind of hard to like exactly formulate who I need in my team.

And, and what you said is right, like finding someone who has done what you want to achieve. It's going back to that sort of like, um, my mimetic theory. It's like you, you can put the pieces of the puzzle together and you can build your own sort of puzzle based on the, the, the building blocks of, of other people.

And I, it, it's a really, it's a, that's a really good tactic to just seek out these people and almost like, you know, uh, adopt them as, as mentors and, and as people to sort of like, you know, help you along, along your journey. So, yeah, I, I, it's

So what I find is a lot of us have got such a big list of goals and different, you know, things you want to do. So for example, let's just go through a typical person. They're gonna have goals on their career, like they might wanna make X amount of money, or they might wanna be X level in the business, or they want to get a fundraise, whatever, you know, whether you got your own company or not, you're gonna have a ridiculously ambitious goal, which, , great.

Then you're gonna have something about your relationship. Maybe you wanna find someone or you wanna, you know, be at the next stage, whether it's to get married or have kids, or wherever that stage is. You might have some stage you want to get into. You might have, so around friendships, you'll have, so around travel, you have something around fitness.

You'll have something about me. Time, like these are things that I guarantee should be. on most lists right now. The hard question comes like, which one is the priority? Because you know, a lot of these areas, they are big, big projects like getting successful in your career. Like that is one that's a bulky project.

I call 'em like, you know, there's two, there's there's different levels of games. This is like, this is a big one. You've got big projects, medium projects, and small projects. In my mind, I'm actually keeping fit. That's a small one. Cause sort of like an hour, you know, a couple of hours a week, you can do that, right?

It's not easy. It's quite easy. But if you want to. Building your own business and being successful. That's a big project. If you are about to go through a big phase in your relationship, like that is quite a big project. So I think what I've realized is you can only probably do like one, two big projects a year.

Yeah. Like really well. And then maybe one or two little ones. And I feel a lot of people want to do lots of big ones. Um, so, you know, let's just say hypothetically, um, you're single and you wanna find someone, like you gotta decide which one is prairie. Do you wanna find someone or do you. Garp at work, like, you know, hit, you know, hit a big milestone at work.

Cause doing both is ridiculously hard. I can tell you that. It's not, you know, from speaking from friends, speaking from to people like anyone you like, you can't

And you, let's say you've got like two or three at the top of your list and you've got some medium priority or low priority things on the low list, but those are easier. Your, your, your brain is gonna want to like, oh, lemme just like, tick off a few of these and get some momentum. And sometimes that can work to get you like started, but you've gotta be really, it happens to me on a daily basis, right?

So I'm, look, I'll look at my to-do lists, right? I've got two big things I need to do. One thing is like, I've gotta create like five budget meals for, for the BBC cuz they're on at me to, to put some stuff on their website. And then I've also gotta do a YouTube review for the channel and, and stuff and like basically restructure it, all the rest of it.

But I've got like a whole bunch of low priority ones and I'm also like, Uh, maybe I could just do that like quick email there and I can just tick a few things off here and like, you know, but at the end of the day, like I, I'll feel better because like, oh, tick, three or four things off, but I haven't done the really important things and those just get kicked down the road.

So you don't wanna do that with your goals For sure. Because, yeah, a

So, you know, look at it every week, make sure it's documented. Be absolute. Number three is be absolute clear. So have clarity of. You know, what you're trying to achieve. And number four is like, you know, you do need to prioritize cuz you can't hit all your goals. So make sure you really ensure you the one that is your focus is your focus.

And yeah, making sure that, you know, naturally you do spend time on it as Rupi says. Cool. All right. I think we've covered a lot on this episode. Um, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Um, next year. I feel like I've been not giving it my full, I've given it some, but I think I can give it a lot more attention. So I feel getting more interesting guests and, you know, spending more time on that. Cause I feel we could get incredible guests. I've reached out, I just haven't taken it forward.

So I feel like that's something for me personally. Number two is, you know, right now I'm dating and I feel it's time for me to find that right person. probably go into a relationship, um, and take it seriously cuz I feel like I put work ahead a lot. So I feel like I'm in that phase. And then number three, I, I feel I could do a lot more to help other founders and to give back.

Obviously the podcast is one, but I feel I can do a lot more through my bliss growth. Engine. So maybe invest in more companies in areas which are needed. So yeah, I feel like those are certain areas, and four is like probably expand my friend circle. I feel like we all, you know, we all stick with our own friend circles.

I feel we could, it's a good time to meet new people, make more effort there. I feel sometimes I'm not making as much effort. It's always interesting to get new minds, speak to new people because you learn a lot and you know, you get inspired and they actually help you set your goals cuz you start learning, oh wow, this is possible.

Yeah.

So it is something that novel talks about a lot, no acon and it's this idea that the human brain thinks just in terms of linear relationship. We think that the more that we do, the more we'll get out. Actually, there's a lot of exponential things. Um, so yeah, just finding where those

It's not that relationship at all. It's, uh, leverage is, yeah, it's really important. That's a sick one

So I think sometimes when people are thinking about visualization and goal setting and Tony Robbins, they're thinking, oh wow, I could do everything. I'm gonna imagine I have a billion dollars. I imagine I have the, like, the, the best, uh, girlfriend I have, like this dream life. But what, what you talked about was like prioritizing.

So. It's realistic goal saying, and, uh, realistic, uh, visualization. Uh, and the, the second bit that connects to is, um, that, that first topic you talked about with the pizza, where we, we talk about, like thinking about the whole goal. So let's say. , for example, you want to be an entrepreneur, but the realistic aspect of that goal is you're gonna need to answer your emails at all times.

You're gonna like people, you're gonna spin many plates in the air. Mm-hmm. . And probably like a lot of people superficially, like when when we were talking about the comparing yourself topic, they think of Elon Musk and thinking, oh, I want to be that guy. . I, I would not want his life, Matthew. No way. He is going through a lot and he lives his life under a microscope.

So like what? When you think about your goals, don't just think about like, Well, let, let's say you want to get a dog. Don't just think, okay, I'll have a dog and it'll be amazing. Think about all the hard stuff that involves like early mornings, walks, uh, and, and things

Wow. I was gonna, I'm already blown away. Yeah, yeah.

Um, and, uh, yeah, so, so interesting like that. There was those two aspects of like, one going through the emotions and then, uh, also learning from it. And yeah, you, you need both, uh, and probably. The place where I would say most people struggle. Uh, and this is one of the things like, like I picked up from learning with Jake, like when he gives these, uh, this advice, he's just like, yeah, go through the emotions and then learn from it.

But like, he, like his emotional intelligence, it's like, yeah, it's on a different level. And I, I, I imagine it's just cuz you, you've been through it, uh, so many times. Uh, and something else you mentioned like sing with yourself in stillness, really understanding what you want and then. Yeah, and then you, you can grow from it.

I would relate that to the comparing yourself topic because like, okay, you, you could, someone could want that level of emotional intelligence, but you gotta go through a hundred breakups and that's exactly,

Amme, we usually don't rate you and your summary, but I'm gonna give that solid 8.5. Man, that was, that was awesome.

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